a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
