Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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