Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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