small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
the liver wants what the liver wants
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
