You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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