Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
