Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
