Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
