She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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