but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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