he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
