The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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