and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
