she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
