omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
false alarm. still invincible.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want to make out with him forever
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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