you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
