Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
