so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
