okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Boobs are out for the taking
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
