your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
