She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
