I wish I only lived at night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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