she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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