You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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