P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
