you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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