around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
