Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
