I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
