Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
