I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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