Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
