i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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