he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
