So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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