Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
