Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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