I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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