I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
