k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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