they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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