Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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