Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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