How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
