people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
bring money and cleavage
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
