Non-Jews are for practice
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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