The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
