We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
