peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
