So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
