super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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