I'm lost and stupid without you.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
