he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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